By Terry Ott

Here we go again.

The newz today is reporting that EMI has been chatting with several EU conglomerates about a sale.

Yet EMI is really only worth much WITH the Fabs, and how will a new owner react to Apple/RutleCorp's notorious wanking?

Will a new owner treat the group with extra fine kid gloves like EMI?

Something tells me no. Hell no.

I mean, yes, part of the biz is coddling the artiste, but it seems to me that many at Rutle Corp consult the stars about decisions that affect millions of fans, and, more importantly to the Ruts, millions of dollarz.

So, could this mean that the Fabs might follow what their mamma's said and better shop around?

Despite their high maintenance, many music companies would be orgasmic about getting the Beatles.

And you can be sure for a ton of upfront money.

Then, there is the question of how the next gen of Beatle/Rutle head honchos will conduct business.

Tomorrow never knows, right?

Yes-or no-they don't call your deer correspondent the 4th best Beatle Blogger in the hole wide www for nothing, or something.

I read the AbbeyRd news today, and oh boy, did I call it or not/what?

The rocket scientists at Apple/Rut Corp may be-according to CNN-about to jump into the download biz via iTunes, and provide the whole UK back catalogue on line, for a limited time. Whatever that means.

So, all of us dupes who have bought and lived with the shitty CDs for almost 20 years, what do we get?

As the Who so aptly described, apparently sweet fook all!

So I say a pox on their combined Apple house.

Have these people no shame?

Shit, what a stoopid question!

On Sunday, Nov. 26, Yoko Ono placed a full page ad in the New York Times, with the first line reading, "FORGIVE US."

The page-in white except for print and a John Lennon drawing of his little family circa 1980 or so-appears to be Ms. Ono's way of turning Dec. 8 not into an annual wake for John Lennon but for the greater good of mankind.

"As the widow of one who was killed by an act of violence, I don't know if I am ready yet to forgive the one who pulled the trigger. I am sure all victims of violent crimes feel as I do. But healing is what is urgently needed now in the world.

Let's heal the wounds together

Every year, let's make December 8th the day to ask forgiveness from those who suffered the insufferable

Let's wish strongly that one day we will be able to say we healed ourselves, and by healing ourselves, we healed the world.

With deepest love,
Yoko Ono Lennon
New York City 2006"

Despite the rather harsh pranging Ms. Ono sometimes takes in the media, I suspect her new message is heartfelt, and should be commended.

It would be, after all, just like starting over.

I know I go on and and (and on) about this, but when the 5.1 format is in the news, why not?

The TOUPsters have just released their DTS 5.1 version of Past Masters, and in a word: amazing.

In fact, I was shocked. And stunned. Very stunned.

Don't forget, these guys are not working from multis like Father and Son Martin, but rather from stereo wave extractions. And yet their 5.1 is in some ways, BETTER than some of the stuff I've heard on Love, or the Yellow Sub DVD, Anthology et al.

Of course, they can't match the iso's of lead vocals-like the unreal take of Revolution on Love-but they more than make up for that by producing a soundstage that while in 6 channels, does not stray much in overall "feel" from the mixes we have known for over 40 years.

And once one gets a listen to I Want To Hold Your Hand, and I'm Down in 5.1, how ya gonna keep 'em down on the 3 channel farm?

TOUP has managed to iso John Lennon's backing vocal to I'm Down, and hearing them are worth the price-whatever that is- alone.

Other stand-outs are a jazzed up You Know My Name and a cool Rain.

A must have for all Beatle fans at X-Mas and Merry Crimble.

What a larf.

Hell, what a fookin' larf.

Paul McCartney's 66th live offering has one good thing about it: it is in 5.1.

Other than that, The Space Within In Us, is a complete ego tripping out from perhaps one of the world's great egotists.

Not content with just playing his-for the most part-good music, he has to have all these bogus "interviews" with dummies telling him how great He is and all.

Even Wild Billy Clinton shows up to bleat.

Plus, what's with all the daft crowd shots of fools gone nuts?

Hello Dirk: it ain't 1964 no mo!

One reviewer on Amazon.com complained that the DVD "creeped" one out. And that was from someone who is a fan!

And of course this is also the infamous DVD which has had the Heathen Millstone exorcised from the footage to prevent Dirk from looking down on the unemployed. Snooty, not gear and fab.

I mean if you are a slave to Macca, this release will get you orgasmic, but if not, it may make you barf.

Me, I'm leaning towards the Pepto.

Dirk, get a new bird AND a pre-nup you silly sod.

Macca Madhatters, it's your move.

As regular readers know, this correspondent has been a fan and appreciator of the genius boys from TOUP, who have been steadily providing ever increasing top notch Beatle recordings in DTS 5.1 format.

In fact, I think they have done pretty much every LP that was recorded in 4 track, and now have Past Masters 2 out.

And as expected, it did not take the TOUPsters long to start working on their own new thang, with extractions from Love, CD and DVD.

Of course, the better the material they have to work with, the better the 5.1 mix the TOUP guys can produce.

I have mused before that Apple/RutCorp would need to beat Toup at the 5.1 game to be successful

As I mentioned in BB477, I found it hard to tell the difference between the TOUP DTS Help mix, and the one on the Love soundtrack, so obviously the TOUPsters are on the right track.

And if what reader Wayne e'd to say-that he met Macca at a book signing and asked about 5.1 and Paul said not soon-then the TOUP 5.1's might be the only ones we have for God knows how long.

Plus if the 20 year olde digital drek Fab CD back catalogue is finally disgorged next year so I-Tunes don't run dry, then of course the TOUP guys will have even better source material with which to do their work.

So, in a nutshell, we will probably see the Beatles back cat in 5.1 from TOUP, once again, way before App/Rut.

The more things change, the more they..etc.

PS: Merry Thanksgiving, Yanks.

Well, well, well.

Yes, we have no Apple.

And no, Love don't stink, especially for those Beatle fans, oh say, that are under 35, for which I believe this is a shot across their bow, by the rocket scientists at Apple/Ruttle Corp.

Which is a fancy man way of saying, excepting the deluxe 5.1 DVD edition, this is the first I-Pod Beatles, for youngsters who don't have the time or bother to absorb much more.

The first Beatles for the new age millennium mob.

The father and son Martin have done a very good job of mix-n-match of Beatle tracks to create something the suits call a "soundscape." Yet the real story here is the 5.1 mix-both in Dolby and DTS-yet few in the mainstream media are even bothering to mention the surround sound leap.

I doubt I will even listen to the stereo version. Why bother? Multi IS the future.

How good is the 5.1 presentation?

On first listen, very good indeed, with mostly a nice soundstage, clarity, separation, and bass. The format allow for centering of the lead vocal, which brings some new life and oomph. Sun King is backwards, for those freaks out there.

However, few of the Fabs' tunes are presented un-retouched in the multi-channel format.

Help, from a 4 track master is fairly underwhelming, and as I predicted some time ago, not much different from the TOUP mix from over a year ago, plus a little flat sounding to moi.

Revolution is naked also, and makes much more use of the original 8 tracks. John Lennon's grunts are groovy. Fuzz-distort-Leslie guitar kicks, too.

A Day in the Life is a trip, with sounds you've not heard before.

Hey Jude-and I don't care what any revisionist sez, this is a great song-sounds fab, and gear.

All You Need Is Love closes the package out, and to these olde ears, sounds the best, ever. Say goodbye to tinny crapola.

Packaging of the set is nice and garish, the way a new Beatles package is apparently supposed to be, with the booklet of Love show pix, outstanding.

And don't forget this: the Love 5.1 mix is already 3 years old, and so let's hope that when the back catalogue is (finally-when, when?) is dished up, the product will be even better.

Finally, if you do not have a 5.1 home theater system, run, don't walk, and get one.

More, as my meds allow.

Can't believe that almost a whole year has wizzed by since your dear correspondent was given the unceremonious boot from the Yahoo Beatles Collectors Forum after a wank-fest over Bob Spitz's Beatle book.

A twit who goes by the Handle of "Sooz," still bans me from posting on the forum, although I am allowed to view the drivel that for the most part is standard fare.

For instance, one dolt asked today, "What is Blu-Ray?"

Well, duh, it's the new Sony HD DVD format-a drive in in the new PS3-and one would have to have been spaced out not to hear about that fact these past few daze.

In any event, in response to the dunncery, I tried to post "Are you kidding," and it bounced right back.

However, posters who have been asking about what happened to Beatleanolgy mag went to-no ish's since June-get to hear from the publisher about how the dog ate his magazine, or something.

Geez, Flooz, I guess some is is better than other, eh, as they say in Kanuckistan.

What a boring wank-fest.

I hope they cut me off from seeing the crapola, too.

World wide web rubbish.

Well, well, well.

I found out when I read the AbbeyRd news today, that oh boy, we are about 72 hours and change away from the Love in.

Although it does not appear-at least not yet-that the media is flogging the Love thang like previous over-hyped offerings, but hey, next week is still young.

And yes, your 4th best Beatle blogger in the whole wide www. will be picking up the deluxe edition ASAP, and reporting back, especially on the 5.1 mix.

Actually, the surround sound release is really the only reason that one should give a toss about LOve.

And even though it is tech forward move (finally) by the rocket scientists of Rutle Corp, some on the Internet are already grumbling that "this took 3 years?"

Now, I have heard some of the tracks-bits of which previously appeared on Anthology-and yes, they are neat and cool and whatever you want to hang on them.

But is it really a Beatle album?

I mean the Corpse went ape-shit when the Grey Album successfully did the mash-up thang, so will Love be judged on that grey (ha!) area release?

The mind buggles.

So I look forward with an open blown mind to 5.1 Love, and then let the fish and chips fall where they may pang.

Excuse-while I kiss the sky-but have we not heard this olde dance and no song routine so many times before?

Some EMI pr weasel says that the back catalogue remaster is imminent, or "soon," but neglecting to list what decade.

And now we are being told that downloadable Fabs will be "soon."

As far as I'm concerned, another slap in the fookin' face to all the fans that have purchased the 20 year old digital drek via CD, and in several different more modern connotations.

Of course I guess I should be giving meself a slap upside the head, as after all, this IS Apple/Rutle Corp we are discussing here.

Try putting a download in yer X-Mas stocking!

CDs first, you twits.

CDs first.

Remember way back when when Johnny said those freaks was right?

Well, yes they were, and are still to this day.

As your friendly correspondent-the 4th best Beatle Blogger as adjudicated by the London Times-closes in on another millstone in pop history (500) he is hearing from Beatle peeeps from all over.

And one of them groovy freaks-Jim Kendall-who is a knowing Beatle expert on many things, recently had too much tea and set to work on a sound file of Revolution 9, turning it back to front.

Jim gleefully proclaimed to the WWW that it did not sound much diff backwards than forwards, and after he chopped up the files like a mad scientist and sent them to me, he was right, right, bloody well roight!

Although many thought-and still do- Lennon daft over Rev 9, I always liked it, all though I was not in such good company with Charlie and the Family as fellow admirerers.

Yet I believe it shows just how much power a pop star like John carried in the day, even taking on a company like EMI.

The suits and beancounters there must have had a stroke when they found out about this number (9), and Lennon's insistence it go on shows the stick he wielded.

Backwards or forwards, it's a gas, gas, gas.

It is BB's understanding that thanks to your overwhelming response, Mr. T will soon be off to England to teach two fools basic rules about the choppy seas of matrimony, and just plain money.

Now, Dirk McQuickly did not let this slip when he boo-hoo'd to the BBC over the week-end-as they say in the UK-but let's just say that T has got his big olde hands full with this dysfunctional pair of twits.

Also over the week-end, a former leg over of Millstone's sold his story to a tab, telling the tale of how he serviced the one legged wonder about once a month-in the tub no less- until she located a bigger sucker.

Yes, this is not rocket scientistism, but good God lad, did you not have some inkling that Heathen was a ho?

No matter. All water under the loo, now.

Mr. T will assess the situation, and prescribe appropriate measures for Millstone, like flogging.

Dirk will be fed salt-peter porridge, and told to keep his pecker in his loin cloth.

Or some bloody daft thing like that.

Stay tuned.

Fool!

Come together Beatle peeps!!

Berkeley Lissa-by way of Detroit City- e'd yesterday to say she is 100% behind a draft Mr. T movement you need on your shoulder to get the Tster over to the UK to put things right with the McCartney's.

This is serious!

Please e or call TV Land to request that T gets over there to save the day for Macca and Millstone, and about $200 million bucks.

If you like, you can e BB, or send a stamped, self dressed elephant, which will be passed on to T.

Don't forget Mr. T's Rule Number 17: Don't procrastinate, fool!

All together now!!!!!

http://www.tvland.com/switchboard/