By Terry Ott

Dirk's new CD, E-Coli-Adnausem, or something like that, ain't, how we say, too good.

Every review I have read says the same thing: he was on tea.

I started to listen to it, then threw it off my balcony to a gaggle of geese, who promptly shat upon it.

In addition, Macca is being a twit with his press conferences concerning this frisbee.

PR weasels warn journos that if they speak of Heathen Millstone to Him, they will be flogged.

In BB's opinion, this release is just an attempt by Dirk to garner symapthy because of the devil(ette).

Why? Because He claims that some of it was written during his late wife's illness, and was therefore from the heart, or whatever.

These are nostalgic thoughts that should remain private, not loaded up to hype crap-ola.

Dirk, save your energy for the coming War of the Macca's.

You're gonna need it, man.

"But if you get a car and a telly and a house...and even a lot of money...your life's still empty because it's still on this gross level. What we need isn't material. It's spirtual. We need some other forms of peace and happiness."

George Harrison, 1967, from the booklet LITMW remaster, 2006

Your dear correspondent, the 4th best Beatle Blogger in the whole, wide, WWW, is at this very minute listening to the highly awaited Living in the Material World CD re-do, circa September, 2006.

From the top? This thing sounds WAY better than ANY other version I have heard, including import vinyl, etc.

Gone is the somewhat dull ambience of the original release, and surely the early 90s CD digital muck-dreck.

One track that is very noticable in it's lack of original harshness is Who Can See It, with the orchestra section clean and warm(er).

Individual instrumentation stands out better, and, well, the whole thing is just more musical.

Percussion-and George used both Ringo Starr and Jim Keltner-is better reproduced in this CD, from the original multi master tapes recorded in Apple studios.

The non-deluxe version of LITMW comes with a fairly nice little booklet, lyrics included, and several outtake pix from the cover sessions, that I have never seen before.

Including one of George wearing a bishop's hat with a Hare Krishna button affixed.

Stig always was the joker!

The two bonus tracks, Miss O'Dell-laughing version-and Deep Blue are nice to have, but there should have been more.

Can't wait for the deluxe model-at least up here in Canuckistan-next week.

Hare!

Well, well, well, Beatle peeple.

Consider yerself lucky, really, if you don't reside in the great white north, AKA Canuckistan.

Because that George Harrison Living in the Material World CD/DVD reissue we have been waiting about 10 years for, will not happen as exactly illustrated, tomorrow.

Yes, up here we still will get the bare bones CD remaster of LITMW-which according to the EMI Canada website has a booklet with extra pix (wow!)-on Sept 26, BUT, for some fooked up reason not explained on the Website-in fact not even mentioned that I can see- we will NOT be getting the deluxe edition until Oct 3.

This bad news from several Canadian record retailers on Sept. 25.

And yes, BB is willing to admit it IS the remastered CD that will most likely be the of most interest to most buyers. BUT, those of us who loved the original packaging of the 1973 album which-will be reproduced in a 40 page booklet in the deluxe- AND look forward to the DVD with 2 bonus cuts in 5.1 and video with the special edition, must either wait a week, or buy both versions.

That sucks!

You'd think after the screwing up of the Capitol Albums Vol 2, the rocket scientists at EMI might have got this one right all the way around.

Bolloks; just bollocks.

Take this, wankers! http://magicalmsyterymixes01.podomatic.com

Last BB, I lamented the lack of a 5.1 mix of the Sept. 26 reissued Living in the Material World.

Well, it turns out I was not entirely right.

Yes, we have no actual album in 5.1, but, a live track from Japan 1991-Give Me Love-will be available in surround sound on the bonus deluxe edition DVD package. This version of GMP will presumably-hopefully- be a different take than that from the already released SACD, and a better mix than what was achieved on that hybrid SACD, which was quite mediocre.

If you take a look at Amazon.com, you will see a beautiful looking LITMW 2006 package, with a 40 page booklet, and what appears to be all original artwork.

Takes me back to May 1973, when I first opened my vinyl version, wowed by the album's colorful art, and I can almost still smell the fresh ink.

The remastered CD will have Miss O'Dell-the original flip to GMP, and Deep Blue, the flip to Bangla Desh.

In addition, the DVD will include an alt of O'Dell-probably the non-laughing version, or vice the verse-and a demo of Sue Me Sue You Blues. As they like to say today, cool.

Yet I still can't help complain that we need more alts and outs in such a package, as many are known to exist.

Oh well, once again, that's showbiz!

Now, on to Dark Hoarse, and if we're lucky, a special version of Far East Man!

According to your dear correspondent-the London Times certified 4th best Beatle Bloggingman in the universe-the top Fab event so far for 2006 will be next week's, long, long, long overdue CD remaster of George Harrison's 1973 near-masterpiece, Living in the Material World.

As Coach Steve has adjudicated in the Sept. 18 Beatle news briefs, the deluxe editon of the release would seem to be the way to go, with a bonus DVD containing alts of Miss O'Dell and Sue me, Sue You Blues.

Although condemned by many in the sneering rock press as too preachy and leaden, in '73 after the mega success of All Things Must Pass, I think LITMW stands up well, maybe even more topical and relevent then when released 33 years ago.

And therein lies the innate genuis of the Beatles, this time, one George Harrison who could look into the present, with knowing of the past, and fortell the future.

About everything George sang out about in the album-consumerisim, litigation, celebrity worship, lack of faith, has come to pass in spades in the 21st century.

Always a cynical and satiric thinker, perhaps George was baiting the unholier than thou rock critics with his songs about Krishna, and maybe the joke was on the folks at Rolling Stone who editorialized that GH should be given dope, for hope.

Are we going to hear a marked difference in the new remaster, from original, 16 tracks multis? You bet we are, in spades. Can't wait, mate(s).

ATTENTION APPLE: WHY NO 5.1?????

So, the big Beatle Celebration is this weekend in Toronto, which for the semi-illiterate, is about 60 miles north east of Buffalo, NY., home of the Bills.

Yes, it really should be a really big shew, what with Pete Best and May Pang and others attending, and the local media paying attention.

Although I understand the promotors hope to make this an annual event, I am doubtful that there are enough Beatle freeks to populate such a fest years in a row.

According to organizers, dealers are coming from all over the world to peddle their b
Beatle wares, and the success of failure of the event will most likely rest on how well this aspect of the show goes, at $500 Canuck bucks a table.

And although there are about 5 million or so souls within an hour's drive of Toronto, it is still not New Jersey, where about 15 million potential buyers and attenders are available to that big annual Beatles show.

I wish the Toronto show well, but things are funny up in here in the Great White North when it comes to such exhibitions as a Beatle show.

The relatively steep admission price of $25 may put some off, and of course the first time a show of this magnitude is staged, there are usually growing pains.

However, the great Dirk McQuickly sent his best wishes to the show in lieu of attending, so how could it go too far wrong?

A satiric website has a send-up article posted wherein Paul McCartney apoligizes for his song Freedom, calling it the result of "temporary insanity."

As if this was not funny enough, some of the Internet Beatle forums have been discussing the piece, weighing in with their obtuse and tedious readings.

That great knower and sayer of all things Beatle, Soozturd, on the Yahoo Collectors site, wrote that-duh!-it was probably satire. No shit Sooz baby.

Of course a few sane posters recongnized immediately that the mock Macca was a joke, so at least there is some hope for the human race.

Yet, Dirk makes such a delicious target that I am surprised that so far that I know, few other than BB, and Liz Braun at the Toronto Sun have dared incite the Macca Madhatters to madness.

Last Sunday, Liz referred to Macca as an "annoying sadsack knob," and well, I seriously doubt that I could say it with more energy, or insight, from afar.

Sorry Liz, now they know yer name!!!!

But Liz is perfectly capable of rendering any of the MMs down to size, and I hope she forwards me any action with the loonies.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again Beatle peeple: the Fabs are not Gods!!!

They are entertainers and public figures that have to have rhino hide skins and take it all in good humour.

Because, as we all should know by now, all you need is cash.

A few BBs ago, I was taken to task by a reader for making sport of Apple et al for their serial litigations.

I compared the Apple ongoing legals to the tragical history tour of the Rutles, writing that it was just about impossible to now seperate the two.

Well, I am again proven right.

Another cease and desist order-a fave of Neil and his legalists-has apparently gone out to a Beatle song remixer, who has responded with a rambling manifesto that might have shown up Ted Kaczynski on a bad day.

Yet no matter how disjointed and angry the remixers response is, he did have an interesting point to make, to wit, boycotting Beatle recordings on Capitol/EMI, and once again asking, why no remasters for 20 years?

Not quite a call to burn the albums whilst burning one's fingers, but still a shout-out to the companies, "hey, leave us little copy-right infringers alone!"

Really, Neil and crew, how daft are ya?

Everytime you go after little feesh like this, you pump demand for something that falls way into the fringes of infringement, and in fact, make the suers look like greedy wankers.

Plus, the mixers get to say out loud to many more listeners and readers, so what about those remasters anyway, EMI?

As far as I'm concerned, the real life Apple is much more whacked out than the Rutles could have ever been, even on the bloody telly.

Just not as funny, and a lot more sad.

There is a new book on the Beatles and religion that is sure to ignite the 40 year old piss-up of John Lennon tellling a UK journo that the Fabs were bigger than Jesus Christ.

The book, The Gospel According to the Beatles by Steve Turner recently had an excerpt published in the Toronto Star's religion section.

In the excerpt, Turner gives a quite informing history of the Beatles public comments on God and religion, since 1963.

Although I have not read the book, at least from the excerpt it appears that Turner is making a case that while the Beatles started out as agnostics, drugs-read LSD-later lead them to look for the meaning of life, and therefore a supreme being running it all with some order and purpose.

One factoid that perhaps is not well known is that John originally wanted to have an image of Jesus on the cover of Sgt. Pepper-as a "hero"- but the request was turned down as just too "controversial" according to designer Peter Blake.

Turner also recounts the episode in 1968 when John-stoned out of mind-requested that Apple call a news conference to announce that Mr. Lennon was in fact the messiah. Derek Taylor, luckilly, was not as wasted as John, and the event never happened.

Man, the religious right woulda had a stroke over that one.

Lennon appears to be the focus of the book, with Turner describing many of his actions regarding religion as "blasphemous" and suggests that even up to his death, John still saw himself as a Christ-like figure, in that he and the Beatles had been followed by hundreds of millions, looking for the "answer."

"Get off the Cross," Lennon is said to have remarked, when asked about a Beatle reunion in the 70s.

I would recommend this book even just from an excerpt.

A fresh new take on the Beatles and one to make you really think.

LATE ADD: Good buddy Barb from San D sez USA sez that there have been 44 (!) Beatle books published in the past year or so. All too much!

Your dear correspondent, the London Times 4th best Beatle Blogger in this whole wide mad, mad, mad, mad, world, has received e-mails from usually reliable sources which throws water-tea?-on my prognostications visa Vee Jay, Capitol et al, that ongoing legals between the Fabs and EMI may bollix a late year as per usual release.

According to said sources, do not fear Beatle peeps, as I am told "something" will find its way out for X-Mas, despite the litigationaries.

I was not even given a hint as to what that "something" may be, but BB will take two educated guesses to those in need:

1/ The LOve soundtrack-hopefully in 5.1-seems the most common sense pick, but then again...well, I don't have to tell you any more about that subject.

2/ The Capitol Albums Vol. 3, although that would break the trend of one every year or so. Still, if it follows the previous format, look for the UA A Hard Day's Night, Revolver, Yesterday and Today, and Magical Mystery Tour, because that too, was an original North American release only, in mono amd stereo.

The word I am hearing is no Sgt. P in mono, because that will be taken care of -maybe-on the UK side. Still, we ALL can do without Beatles Story, which some have suggested may be part of a Vol. 3. As Mick said: I 'ope not.

Personally, I really like to see Vol. 3 AND the old Vegas LOve thang, if just for the 5.1, which it better be in, or fook it, lads.

So, let me get this straight: Rutle/Apple Corpse is suing EMI/Capitol whatever, and perhaps even itself, accidently, for the return of 25 million bucks, AND the masters to their American releases.

The 25 mill is allegedly for "scrapped" records back in the USA in the 70s, and I guess contrary to previously published reports, Apple does not have control over the American side of EMI Beatle bizness.

Guess that is why the Capitol Albums 1&2 have been released in modern remaster, whilst the back EMI Beatles catalogue STILL languushes in digital sheit.

And so now, we have all this: bring back Ron DeKlein to sort the lot out!

Seriously though Beatle peeps, won't it be pretty hard for the expected Cap Vol. 3 to come out this Christmas season what with all the legal bollocks being bounced big around?

Seriously part deux, is this not now sillier than the real Rutles?

Perhaps Apple should spin off the Beatles, and reorganize as a law firm, such is their lust for legals.

They could get Dick Jaws to run the firm.

Lucky, really.