By Terry Ott

A regular reader,Paul,e'd to say that BB had ground too much rancid Millstone lately, and pointed out NYTimes star Allan Kozinn's piece in last week's Sunday Times as proof there were other things to discuss, Fabs-wise.

And I think Paul was right, because Kozinn's big piece-mostly on the Beatles new Vegas Cirque du Soleil show-also touched all the bases of the current state of Beatledom.

Allan notes the less than stellar workings of Apple/Rutle Core including their looney litigious nature-Kozinn refuses to sacrifice access for ass-kissing- and their failure to almost 20 years on remaster the UK Beatles back catalogue on CD.

Kozinn even mentions how that many fans would really rather (finally) hear the now legendary 27 minute take of Helter Skelter, and maybe get the re-worked Shea Stadium film as well.

But what I really dig is that Kozinn is one of the few major mainstream media writers who champions or even for that matter mentions the 5.1 format.

He was at the forefront commenting on the re-release of Yellow Sub in 5.1, and then the Anthology DVD in 2003. Pointing out how good the experience can be, if done right.

And even TOUP's home-cooked DTS Beatle work was hinted at in the article.

This is good, because believe it or not, only a small percentage of Beatles fans are even vaguely aware of the 5.1 format and if the format is ever going to leap from the audiophile market to the homes of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Hometown, Wherever, well then it needs to be talked/typed up.

As I have written many times, if the eventual remaster of the UK catalogue is not presented in 5.1 as well as 24 bit stereo-and hey, why not throw in a mono mix as well-then the re-release will be a failure, in my opinion.

Record companies, including Apple, need to remind consumers that most if not all of those with home theater systems used for movie playback will also reproduce 5.1 music discs in all their surround sound glory.

No longer does a consumer need an expensive stand-alone DVD-A player to enjoy 5.1 audio only.

Kozinn's article talked about a new soundtrack to the Vegas show being released in the future-surely in 5.1-and perhaps Apple will wait to see how that is received before going ahead with the whole catalogue.

But then again it seems that Apple consults the stars on many matters, so who knows?

Yet bravo to the Times and Mr. Kozinn for at least bringing the issue to the big-time.

The rest, unfortunately, is up to Rutle/Apple Corp.

Oh, so Paul McCartney and estranged wife/film/photo star Heather Mills(tone) were seen chatting and making nice with a kiss at their daughter's school event over the weekend.

The Sunday Daily MIrror did not, however, present the occasion as a "kiss and make-up,' sceanrio, but rather, a mission by Macca to save face with his child, and save money in the divorce.

The article also contained some of the rubbish we've already warned you about-how Millstone cares not a toss for loads of brass and will give it away "to a wretched chairty," or some such nonsense.

Yes, and the Beatles will reunite, also.

But if I were Dirk, I would offer the ex a generous settlement-maybe even paying it directly to the charity!-so the whole unfortunate affair does not become more fun fodder for upper class treacle twits like me.

NUMBER 4, NUMBER 4, NUMBER 4, NUMBER 4

I would like to thank the Academy-and the Times Online-for their very generous ranking of Beatle Bits on Abbey Road as actually the fourth best Beatle blog on the WWW. Actually.

Oi, and also a big thumbs up to number one BB Scruff, Mary Rose, from Rutlandshire.

Of course, none of all this could be possible without Dirk, Stig, Barry and Nasty, otherwise known as you-know-who, for it is their exploits, past and present-and perhaps even future-that drives this writer to feed the head of the BB Nation.

And of course also, a great big good day sunshine to Coach Steve Marriacci, head honcho of the best damn Beatle website, period.

Finally, now we can truly say, we're bigger than 5-ish.

Of course the ulitmate irony of this whole Macca/Millstone marital piss-fest is that after 45 years of superstardom, seeing, and having it all, Macca seems to have been duped by a woman, a woman he was duly warned about, and chose to ignore the signs.

Apparently, Millstone even bragged to some of her friends that she had hit the jackpot when she married Paul in 2002.

Yet now the nut is claiming that if she wins a big divorce settlement, she'll give it all away to charity, sort of like a Bandette on the Run (Ha!)

If the above is truely reported, than I just think the girl is full of crap, cuz no one could be that stupid.

Or could she?

Another story I'm hearing is that Millstone may have been carrying on with a male colleague whilst married to Macca, and if true, this does make her bonkers, at least in my opinion.

The fastest way to lose a jackpot is to do what she has reported to have done, and as John Lennon once said, "now we have all this."

Plus, I'm also told that there will be many more racy pix and videos coming the media's way, along with more kiss and tell tales by former lovers and associates.

But if I was Paul, I wouldn't feel too bad.

After all, anyone-even a Beatle-can be duped, and it appears that duping, is the new sex, anyways.

And ya know what? Life IS stranger than fiction.

Because if you would have told me 4 years ago that McCartney's marriage would blow up in the fashion that it has, I would have said you were on tea.

Lots of tea. And biscuits.

Mark Sept. 26 on your calendars, Beatle peeple.

After enduring 15 bloody years of a very mediocre CD of George Harrison's seminal Living in the Material World, we will FINALLY get a 21st century remaster near the end of the 3rd quarter of '06.

Time will tell if it was worth the wait, but I have a feeling that the album will be done justice by the remaster, and hope that many new fans will discover this great LP for perhaps the first time.

Two bonus tracks- B sides, Miss O'Dell and Deep Blue-are on the remaster, and there will also be a special edition with a DVD containing rare concert footage.

I guess the only downside is that both packages fail to offer any alts or outs of the marathon sessions for LITMW, even though several bootlegs clearly demonstrate that the material is, or was, available.

And if one really wants to nit-pik, why no 5.1 mix of the album, which I'm sure would have been awesome. (TOUP get ready!!!)

But these are but a small complaints, as getting a legit remaster is the big news.

Of course, the really ironic thing about this album is that it was actually the beginning of the end for George after the 1970-72 triumphs of All Things Must Pass and Concert For Bangla Desh.

The rock press was laying in wait for Material World when it was released in the early summer of 1973, and George would not have another hit for almost 15 years.

But, I always liked this record, and am looking forward to getting my hands on a new, modern sound copy.

BIG SCOOP!!

Tomorrow's (June 22) UK Daily Mail will have a front page story with the header "My Life Has Fallen Apart."

But the complainer is not Paul McCartney, but rather, a gal pal of Millstone, who accuses Heather of trying to cover up their wild and crazy escort days prior to Millstone's wedding to Macca, and then again last year when PM got suspicous minds.

Oh, the humanity!!!!

Shame, shame, everyone knows her name.

I can't hardly believe it, but I'm actually starting to feel sorry for olde Dirk.

Martini surely fooked him in more ways than one.

Ok, ok; so the Macca man has even made the CBS Evening News on June 16, playing his cute Sgt. P song, and looking all thumbs-upy.

And just as I predicted, I hear that He WILL tour when he's 64, maybe even out to Hawaii.

Yet, I have more important newz.

I learn through the tea-vine, that perhaps Macca and legalists are busy working on a plan, not to divorce Mz. Millstone and cough up about 300 mill, but rather, seek an annulment, on the grounds of misrepresentation, or some such wanking thing.

(You tell lies thinkin' I can't see. You can't cry cuz your're laughing at me. I'm down. I'm really down. I'm down, etc.)

Now, if this scheme is successful, it will do two things:

1/ Save face for McCartney, who presently looks the cuckold in the UK press.

2/ More importantly, save MONEY for McCartney, of which he has presently anywhere from 1.2 to 1.6 BILLION Beatle and other bucks.

Personally, and honestly, I think Mz. Millstone got rather a rough ride, what with all those dodgy pix being splashed all over the tabloid media.

It was downright titillating.

As far as I know Paul was aware of most her past, and said earlier he gave not a toss.

Once again, some of the things written on the various Beatles Internet forums-but especially Yahoo Beatles Collectors where that twit Sooz sits-was downright sick and pathetic.

"Oh, Heather, how could you do this," and other such fookin' crap.

Once again, GET A LIFE YOU SILLY WANKERS!

In any eventuality, I hear it's your birthday Macca, and although it is not my birthday too, happy birthday, to ya.

God Save The Queen, and England, and Paul's fortune.

One word: wow.

Those wild and crazy Cally-forn-ia Toupsters have out-done themselves with an Abbey Road DTS disc that is, I think, better that ANY other release of this title.

And so yes, that means, MFSL, Jap Red, CD and Anth DVD. It's that good.

Now, as I have always stressed about previous TOUP 5.1 works, this disc is not perfect.

On side 2, some lead vocals are somewhat diminished in favour of overall ambiance.

Yet that is a minor quibble.

Bass and soundstage are bang-on for the most part on this thing, and quite frankly, I am shocked, and stunned-very stunned- they could get it so right, what with having only the stereo tracks to work with.

This thing actually sounds like it came from the multi's,so an amazing feat.

A nice touch is a bonus track of Paul McCartney's demo for Come and Get It, and although I can't hear too much 5.1 goin' on this track, it is still nice to have.

At least-depending on your system- four out of five stars, www.toupltd.com.

NEXT BB: How Macca may have come to dig Millstone. Hint: it was more than 20 years ago, today. An exclusive.

Of course a real bummer to have Billy Preston depart so young, but at least he is up there with Stig and Nasty, and well, that's the way, God planned it.

In other news, wot the bloody 'ell is going on with Heather Millstone????!!!!!

Her generous babylons have been splashed all over the Internet for 24 hours, and frankly, my eyes are getting red, if not my face.

Check out the online UK Sun if you don't believe me.

And there's hilarious shiet on the various Internet Beatles forums, with the most pathetic catching my eye, as "Macca's Agony."

Who gives a shit?

What Millstone did before she met Macca and minus a leg is none of our damn business.

Let he/she who is without sin be the rolling stone, I always say.

The only rather nasty business is the question of whether this material-and bet there will be more, and perhaps even more explicit-was leaked to the media at this time as a wild card in the upcoming Macc/Millstone marital legals.

Well, in any event, the pix prove one thing: Macca may be a dink, but he's sure got a good eye for girls.

So yes, children, the countdown is on, on for the Great Man (TM) He, who doth play the Taxman solo-and many, many,many wanking thanks to all the those who had to tell me over and over and over and over and over and over, etc-again that YES, it was HE who did it! (Yes, like they were all in the studio 40 years ago. Tip: don't believe everthing you read, even from me.)

Bloody 'ell and all. Give it a rest!

But thanks to those who e'd to ask if I had fookin' died. Sorry, no, just moved to Falluja, for laughs.

(X-tra special thanx to (hot and dry) Dallas Barb, who sent a sympathy card, and flowers.)

In any event, we are coming up to when He actually IS 64, let's see, in about exactly two weeks, or June 18, if ye prefer.

Although Macca has said that he won't tour this year, I'm setting unofficial Vegas odds at 2-5 that he does. For those of you odds challenged, that means he is a lock to do some kind of show(s).

Of course, this would be better than anything Eric Idle could have ever thought up for the fabulous Rutles.

And dig this: Ali G, or Borat, or even Bruno has GOT to be in America to interview Paul/Dirk and ask him-as Borat puts it-how his "sex explosion" is at 64, and newly bachelored and re-toked up.

Yes, now, THAT would really be something.