By Terry Ott

The May 25 New York Times had a very interesting pop culture/politics story.

On a scale of "most conservative," rock songs from the pages of the National Review (yuk!) the Beatles placed two songs-including the number 2 slot with Taxman-on a top 10 list that had some big time bands like the Rolling Stones, but none with more than one entry.

(Oh allright, in the full top 50 list, the Stones tied the Fabs with another entry.)

The other Beatles tune, clocking in at #8 was, bizarrely to me at least, Revolution, a song that was hardly on arch conservative Richard Nixon's jukebox back in '68, nor Ronald Reagan's or even the W Bushman circa 2006.

Taxman, I can see, as all Neo-Cons despise the very concept of any tax.

But as per usual, these tedious "lists" generate a buzz,otherwise why would I be wasting your time writing about it?

One of the things that bugged me about the NR writer's synop of each tune, is the repeating of the recent Geoff Emerick claim that on perhaps George's greatest song, Harrison, claims Emerick, did not even play the famed guitar solo, but rather handing it off to Paul McCartney.

Now, for all I or anyone else knows that claim could well be true, yet why give the quiet Beatle his due as a great songwriter, and then shat upon on it by claiming that he did not even play his own solo.

Especially when George obviously can no longer speak for himself.

(I doubt even the ubber showbiz Macca would take public credit for the solo, now.)

Oh well, who cares what goes in the National Review, anyhow?

The dictionary people really have to add an explanation to the word, "stupid."

How about how stupid it is to be burning up the Yahoo Beatles Collector Forum with some of the most sanctimonious and daft crap I have ever seen, going on and on and on and on and and ON about Macca's bust-up with Millstone.

Gimme a fookin' break already!!!!

Who gives a shit?

This guy is a billionaire, and just because he was dumb enough not to protect himself from matrimonial law is hardly the story of the century, or the end of the damn world, as some twits on this forum would lead you to believe.

For one thing, Macca's personal life is-or should be-none of our freakin; business, and the bleatings from Sooz and Sandy and Andy and crew is a puke-fest.

And the last thing I need is some brain-dead-has-been-fat-assed-Boomer telling me or anyone what I or they should or should not think, or say, about the whole stupid event.

About the only good thing that came out of all this waste of time, was an article that appeared in the Guardian, in which the writer pointed out that a cocky Millstone had bragged last week that the whole thing was "hillarious," and that she could not wait to sue all the media to fund her charities.

Oh well, there goes the old ballgame, bollocks babe.

Man, I would love to be a fly on the wall at the Dakota right now.Can you even Imagine how much Yoko is laughing?

Mucho gracis to reader Steve, a Stig is not dead advocate, who e'd to say that Living in the Material World will be rereleased on Sept 26, fully remastered, and I would suspect, with bonus tracks.

Steve hopes for 5.1, but he may have to keep on hopin'.

This news passed on also jibes with the Record Collector report supplied to you in a previous BB.

I will never forget the headline on the Rolling Stone LITMW review in the summer of '73: Give Him Hope, Give Him Dope. Cheeky.

But I don't care what the nattering nabobs of negativity say, I LOVE Stig's LITMW.

Shit, I even like Dark Hoarse, which when released was a very short 40 minutes or so, and I hope it is fleshed out with many bonus tracks.

-----------------------------------------------

Much wringing of hands and keyboards today over the Macca marriage melt-down, with most readers who e'd me either making sport of the eventuality, or mentioning that Paul was a dope for not following even smarmy The Donald's advice and getting a pre-nup.

I'm sorry, but I thought Millstone rather a horsie and mouthy gal, and scratched me head from the git-go.

But as they say, love is blind, and so is, sometimes, common sense.

Hawaii Ann checked in to say her dance card was empty, and that Macca could come and stay with her, but seeing as Ann lives in the same building that Mark Chapman did, it may put the mockers on that one.

Finally, a big up-as Ali G sez-to Coach Steve who reprimanded the evil tabloids that would take comfort in Macca's problems, although I am reminded of an olde saying I shall pass on to the Coach: one man's ceiling, is another man's floor! Or bore.

That's showbiz!

Beatle peeple, it is with the utmost grief that I come to you today with thoughts of Australia, and the recent busting up of the world's most (in)famous couple of whats.

Yes, even the BBC is now saying that Dirk and Martini-Millstone are for the marital high jump, and it is speculated that Dirk will be about $400 million dollars the wiser for it.

They may never have given Him their money, but it looks like He will be giving Her quite a lot, actually.

Perhaps the biggest mistake that Dirk made was not placing HMM in his band. After all, Linda couldn't sing a note, but it worked out OK for some time.

Apparently, Millstone was rather jealous of the whole fabulous Rutle thing, and although she is said to have married Dirk because of the outline in his trousers, it was just not enough to keep them together, especially after those freaks said He was dead.

Yet, one man's heartache and relief, is another man's glee.

Already down under,we have heard from Croc Dundee who said in a statement, "Aye, come on down Dirky, we'll find a proper wench for ya."

"And we'll get lagered with Russell," he said.

Sources tell BB that Dirk will begin work on a new album soon, entitled, "I'm Down (In Australia).

Finally, it is now expected that Dirk will return to his heavy tea habit, which Millstone had forbid, and what evidently was a bone to pick with the famous couple if such people do in fact pick bones.

Dirk McQuickly will be 64 in June.

Stig, meanwhile, is still dead.

Geez, after reading an in depth report in the May 14 NYTimes on the financial affairs of one, Michael Jackson, it now appears that we may not know at this time just exactly who does own the Beatles song publishing catalogue.

According to the Times, it looks like contrary to previous reports, MJ has NOT lost the half share in the catalogue, valued at 250 mill, and that Sony actually helped prop up Jackson, so that the catalogue share could not be picked over in a bankruptcy, that MJ was evidently close to, last year.

As long as Jackson makes the payments on loans vouched for by Sony, it looks like the catalogue-now valued at over 500 million-will be administered as it has been for the past 10 years or so, or since MJ sold a half share to Sony to fiance his lifestyle.

All of the above, you may say, means little to Beatle fans, but in fact it does mean a lot.

The money from the publishing of these songs when the music is remastered and then re-released on CD and finally on to download, will be, in polite terms, a shit load.

If the Fabs clear up their legals with EMI and stay with "the greatest recording company in the world," won't EMI wish to try to merg again-or be taken over-with another recording outfit?

In a money talks, bullshit walks scenario, would not EMI have some goods if they could bring the Fabs to Sony as the golden piece of the deal, and Sony could cut some sort of deal with Apple to obtain some part of the catalogue?

Then, Sony and the Beatles would presumably be first in line if MJ runs into any more money woes, and might be able to gain a majority stake in the publishing, which I think is undervalued at present. I think that by the end of the decade, it will be worth about 1 billion, with a B.

MJ bought the entire Beatles catalogue for about $47 million 20 years ago, in what had to be the steal of the century.

If the Beatles-especially Macca and Yoko-could have got their shit together then and bought their own stuff back, one wonders how the whole thing would have played out since 1987.

Suffice to say, at the very least,we would not currently be listening to the crappy 20 year old CDs.

Well, well, well. There may actually BE trouble in paradise.

According to at least two UK newspaper articles that I'm sure Coach Steve will link to, Macca and Millstone marriaging may be near The End of The Long and Winding Road.

Oh my, he will long for yesterday, if the reports are true- and don't forget- this was a guy who reportedly did not secure a pre-nup with Millstone, tossing off a "don't believe in them," excuse, it was writ less.

Like, wow, man. Heather may be in clover for life, if the above is true.

Of course, the whole affair may be a ghastly mistake, or even staged for a lark, or for whatever.

Remember, he sings; she dosen't.

And, according to the published reports, supposedly that has what has got Millstone's knicker in a knot, for, it is said, she feels she deserves just as much media hype as Paul- although in most people's eyes, she had done fook-all to deserve it, at least when compared to her super-duper-star hubby.

But what, besides the speculation, could have caused what the reports are calling many "rows" between the famous baby seal booster love birds?

Would it be possible that Millstone found out that PM had actually been dead 40 years this month, and she was actually married to Billy Sheers, actually?

The mind boggles. Evidently, those freeks was right!

In any event, in the end, the love you make, is equal to the love you take, etc.

Francie, from the guy you called a "pimp," for Coach, I say now's yer chance, with tea, and sympathy.

Oh no; could there be trouble in paradise?

The rumour mongerers are all a tit-tit-tit with claims that Paul McCartney has recently had a row with the wifey Heather Millstone, which saw the Macca-Man flee the matrimonial home.

Scandalous allegations to be sure. But in a where there's some smoke, there's fire scenario, the Macca media machine felt compelled to issue a non-denial-denial, calling the story "hillarious."

So, the "sorry girls, he's married," may be goin' south.

Even Dallas Barbie Doll is excited that the doe-eyed Beatle boy may be free.

Macca Madhatters, there's hope!

NEW YORK TIMES PRANGS APPLE

In an editorial this week, the prestigous NYTimes took the piss out of Apple and their silly lawsuit against Apple Computers.

The Times suggested that Apple Corps has been more concerned with legals, than with seeing to the Beatles music.

I agree.

Remaster the catalogue for fooks sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not that convinced that many of you care-about high-end audio that is-but if you do, run right out and get yer hands on the new, MFSL 24K Gold Ultradisc II version of Plastic Ono Band's Live Peace in Toronto.

Put simply, this thing sounds amazing.

And that's better than I ever recall it sounding-including the original vinyl release-even though some critics are wanking about the mix being the one that Yoko Ono "supervised" for regular CD reissue in 1995.

The naysayers complain that Ms. Ono's retool strayed from John Lennon's original-in which according to at least one author claims Lennon made sure to lower Yoko's wailings during the first set to an acceptable level-although I can't really notice anything startlingly different in the overall MFSL mix.

The purists complain that because the orginal Lennon mix was used in the 1990 JL CD boxset, then it should have been used here too.

In any event, forget about all that, and just enjoy the disc, which, in my opinion, gives a whole new experience to listening to the performance.

John's vocal's have that stadium reverb echo quality, Eric Clapton's guitar kills-his noodling at the end of Cold Turkey is unreal-and bass and stereo seperation are great.

I had this thing when I was 14 in 1970, and loved to drive my parents nuts with side 2, where, as John says, Yoko "does her thing, all over you."

Put the included 1970 calendar up on my bedroom wall which also drove the folks nuts as well.

(The MSFL release faithfully duplicates the calendar-updated to 2006-and all original artwork and liner notes.)

Other MFSL Lennon offerings are POB, Imagine, and Mind Games, but this one, for now at least, is my fave.

Get it while you can, and let John and Yoko, do their things, all over ya.

With all due regrets about Neil, I gotta say that even a child could see that the Apple vs. Apple legal cock-up would end the way it did today.

Of course, the court ruled that there are two-at least!-kinds of apples, and although one may be wormier than another, that's no excuse at all.

So it shall be that Apple computers will not owe Apple Corpse a dime, and plan B will have to B put into effect.

Although the Corpse was yakin' about an appeal, there has to be grounds for one, and although no lawyer me, I could see precious little that could support a successful appeal.

So, one must ask oneself, was this whole thing merely a sideshow, or a bargaining chip?

After all, if Apple Comps did promise Apple Corp that they would be not in the music biz itself in any form, then I could see how Neil and the boys got their knickers in a knot, yet did they really believe they could win?

What I found interesting was the blurtering out by olde Neil about an upcoming remastering job (when? when?) of the Beatles back catalogue.

Neil said no use providing downloadable Fabs' tunes that would sound like shit like the CDs.

So, could it be that the threatened appeal goes away, and the two Apples make I-pod sauce, and the lost legal fees sort of disappear?

Hey, this IS the Beatles we are talking about their trousers here.

Yes, yes, they remain the most ripped-off music group of all time yet the future of music is obviously Internet delivery and the Fabs and their manadrins better wake up, fall outta bed, and start usin' their heads and step into the 21st century.

My prediction: look for Apple & Apple to come together within a year, and make money hand over all you need is cash fist for happily ever after.

Well, at least until the next album, film and lawsuit.

Thanks to reader Irish Peter for the great part header today, a comment he e-mailed me last week, whilst singing Give Ireland Back to the Irish. Palpable nonsense, yet lucky, really.

In any event, I am hear to say that the April ish of Record Collector sez that 2006 will see the debut of remastered 1968-75 Stig product, including a DVD of a 1974 Harri's on Tour gig, which we speculated about in BB418.

If true-and RC has jumped the gone on this sort of thing before so cross yer toes-then I say, belisimo, bravo, terrific, great, Hare, Hare, etc.

Let's hope that Living in the Material World, especially, is loaded with extras, and maybe even in 5.1.

Finally, although his books are great, I fear I may have to ix-nay Bruce Spizer from my list of those seeking the truth.

To wit: although up here in Canuckistan, we get our magazines rather late, I did see the Goldmine with Alice Cooper on the cover this past weekend, and Beatles, within.

Inside, our Brucie is interviewed about the Capitol Albums Vol. 2, which is all well and good, but guess what? Not a friggin' word about the mixes mix-up.

Now, is it possible that Bruce has cut some sort of Faustian deal with Capitol/Apple to practice omerta (look it up) when it comes to bad news?

Well, I e'd Bruce to ask, but 36 hours later, have still not heard back, nor am I holding my breath-SEE BOTTOM LATE NOTE.

I just don't understand his thinking on this.

Here we have an immensely respected author, who appears-and I stress appears-to be going out of his way to not only be an apologist for Capitol when forced to discuss the mixes cock-up, and/or leaving it out completely, as was done in his recent NPR interview, and now Goldmine.

Again, I just don't get it.

It was not Bruce's fault the mistake occured, so why is he covering?

In his books, he has not hestinacy at all in critiquing things Beatle when he feels like it, so why does he not feel like it now?

Let me tell you, if I were an average mook reading that Goldmine review and then going out and buying a defective set, I would be thinking to myself, "does that guy really know his stuff, or what?"

Or, is there another reason why he ain't sayin'?

As I mentioned earlier, I'm still waiting to hear from Bruce, and if he does respond, I will let you know what he has to say, although I doubt he will ever send me another book.

You never give me your money. You only give me your funny paper, etc.

LATE NOTE: Bruce did get back to me on May 8, saying that the Goldmine piece was prepared before the mix-up was known, but still, it don't look-how do you say?-too fookin' good.

Although there have been a few tidbits of George Harrison's 1974 US tour available-several mono tracks on the Songs By George Harrison book, and a passable boot from Fort Worth-the lack of pro quality concert recordings from the tour has been pissy.

But now, and online thang has got a hold of I guess a whole show that Stig and the boys did for a Bill Graham gig-I'm not even going to mention the site because it is near impossible to figger out how to get the damn songs-and at least it proves that there are legit, stereo recordings of the tour.

So, that means, we may get to hear and buy some of them, maybe in 5-10 years.

Now, some of dissed Stig in 74 for a voice that was sore.

But where else will you get to hear a live version of Sue Me, Sue You Blues, the rather curious cover of In My Life, AND Billy Preston et al?

I have mentioned this in the past, but a friend of mine-sadly, now deceased- was at the late show at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, and he came back very enthused, so it must have been pretty good, as he was usually too wrecked to notice.

You know what this proves?

At least on tape, Stig is still not dead, honestly.

Well, I see some probably well meaning but slightly knave individuals have launched (another) Beatles website, trying to take a run at Coach Marriachi and me.

Thanks to Dallas Barbie Doll for the heads up on this.

We say, "good luck," but BOLLOCKS, boys!

(Shame on you Benedict Arnold Bruce!)

Accept no subsititues!

Abbey Road is your one stop shop for info, opinion, and top talk about their trousers.

Both Coach and I are seasoned pros, although yes, I do admit I have had tea. Lots of tea.

Always we have heard, "who will be the nest Beatles?"

Now, it is, "who will be the next Abbey Road?"

Verily I say on to you brothers and sisters, there is only one Abbey Road and if you think otherwise, well, then you have blown your mind out in a car.