By Terry Ott

Mucho, mea, gracis to Coach M for fishing out the FABULOUS video links to the Beatles Capitol Albums Vol. 2 box set.

See what the Apple knockers can do when they get 'round to it?

Watching the two vids brought back sweet, 40 year old memories, and why the Corpse does not release a regular video from this set is beyond me. But maybe they will.

My choice would be Bad Boy, which I think describes the vibe of all young rockers.

However, as per usual with anything Fab, there is already some wanking on Internet forums that some of the "unique" mixes on Vol. 2, are but straight dub-downs from EMI UK masters, although I doubt that 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999 of the listeners will actually care. In any event, NOTHING would stop hard-core freeks from parting with their sheckels come April 11-April 7 if you live in the Fatherland-and I will be one of those buyers, with my freek on.

If the Internet audio samples provided are any indication of what we are getting, the stuff sounded kosher to me. Lots of seperation and clarity, and some in a stereo I've never heard before.

So, the next thing to watch for will be how many of these sets bust the embargo, and make it out in North America some time next week.

If you have a long memory, you will recall that I managed to purchase the March 2003 DDV Anthology 8 days a week before its official release, and there was much nashing of teeth by EMI Canada over that cock-up.

I'm still banned from the store that foolishly sold it to me.

Oh well; that's showbiz!

Wow. 400 Beatle Bits in about 540 days.

That works out to about on average 25 per month of a day in the life of Beatle and shit disturb writer.

But enough math and scatology, fellow wankers and wankettes.

When Abbey Road Coach Steve Mariachi said in October, 2003, "Hey, TO, stop fookin' buggin' me and do a blog," I said wot the bloody 'ell is a blog then, Coach?

As I am admittedly on tea, I was at a loss.

Of course Coach, being from Cally-Forn-ia was way, way ahead of the curve and even set the whole bugger up for me, and well, the rest as they say is a semi-continuous millstone in pop history.

Coach has shielded me from the slings and arrows of outrageous Macca Madhatters who have from time to time beseiged his inbox with viral hatred for poor TO and boycott threats, whilst all me was trying to do was inform, and entertain.

I owe all my fame to Coach Mariachi and Abbey Road, and of course, tea. Thank you Coach, and tea.

And I must confess that the last 100 BBs have been the most fun for me, what with the late 2005 Internet Wanker Spitz Wars, the regular MM uprisings,Blubbering Soul Seals and my correct (lucky) call on the Capitol Albums Vol. 2 being the next major release.

As I noted in BB300, I want to again thank regular readers and writers Texas Barb, Hawaii Ann, Gotham Johnny, Cleveland Matt, Cally-Forn-Ee Tea Tim,Berkerly Lissa,UK Mary-Rose, Francie Schwartz, Tia Freakanos, Mack Knobosect, Mz. Yoko Ono and Paul and Heather McCartney and the entire staff of Apple House, Kent.

Plus, I would like to ask that you keep those e-mails coming, even the hate and mental illness filled ones, that do so make my day. Go ahead, etc.

So, for those about to continue to read this sweet schlock: we salute you!!!!!!!!!!

So, the Apple-bonkers has gone and done it again: airbrushed out the smokes from several of the Fabs' paws in a pix from the upcoming Capitol Albums Vol. 2.

Using polite language, and in my opinion, this act of revisionist mania, is, well, bull-sheit.

Now, I can understand Apple being sensitive to the fact that George Harrison was (most likely) taken from us due to smoking.

But man, this is H-I-S-T-O-R-Y we are talkin' bout their trousers with, here.

They posed with the smokes for a reason, and to airbrush them out, is, daft, and a form of art crime.

Should PC Nazis be able to take out smoking from every movie of all time?

If so, why don't they start with the ones being made today, that are chock full with tobacco?

To me, this whole cock-up is, as they say in jolly olde England, is big-time bollocks.

The Beatles were the coolest guys on the planet for a decade or so, and to go back and remove some of their props is doing no good for anyone, save for jokers getting paid to do it.

Geez, the next thing you know, they will be airbrushing pix of the Fabs having tea.

And they did have tea;lots of tea, and biscuits.

I'm sorry Beatle peeple but Paul and Heatherish McCartney-Whatever and wrinkly Brigette Bardot-especially BB- can wet kiss my former middle class Baby Boomer butt.

Macca is on tea and on also again about the seal Hunt in eastern Canada, warning that the world will be boycotting Canadian sea food-ha!-and the bizarre and scary Bardot is posing in front of a photo which is almost disgustingly pornographic in nature, featuring a seal with a club in its mouth, just having bashed a new born HUMAN baby's brains out.

For the last time, you stoopid idiots: ANIMALS ARE ANIMALS, NOT HUMANS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comparing a seal pup to a human baby is INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And here's some more cluse for youse all: the seal population has TRIPLED in the last 30 years to about 6 million. Only 10% of seal hunters use the club, with the rest using a rifle. The pelts are sold for about $70, making the 230,000 unit harvest not an inconsequential financial undertaking, for people who work and actually have a life not in showbiz.

In other words, PLEASE, Macca, go back to making (mediocre) music, and Brige, well go back to the hospital, or wherever it is you dwell.

Plus now I hear that nutbar Heather is encouraging children not to drink milk, for God's sake. She really is a twit, and makes Yoko Ono look like a bastion of mental health.

But wait:I've got an idea!

How's about Macca and Bardotty adopt all 230,000 seals and put 'em in their collective back yards? They could even sell their droppings as "organics."

Man, if I was the Queen, I'd un-dub McCartney, such is the pussy-whipped tea twit he has become.

John must be larfing hard, and long.

The Rutles live in real life!

Well, well, well, and well, again.

I see some geezer has already ripped off me precious intelectual property rights to what Apple will call the 2007 EMI back cat remasters!

In BB396, I mused that it would make perfect sense to wait until '07, and then call it a "Twenty Years Ago Today," that we fooked up, but we promise to get it right now.

Then, much to my horror, Coach Steve linked to a page that had someone repeating my very words, and then linking it to the old stand-by-someone close to the Beatles!

Shame, shame, everyone knows yer name, wanker!

In all truthiness, I just made that whole riff up, and if it turns out to be true, well then, it was a damn good guess, but nothing more.

Man, those freaks was right when they said youse heads were dead!

I said what I said, and it was not wrong, or maybe not right, and now we have all this.

I think it shows yer all daft.

So here is my apology: talk to the hand!

THAT'S what John woulda done!

As Coach Steve suspected, it appears the EMI Beatles back catalogue first four album remaster caper has been busted.

The German website that had posted the release sked for June, appears to have taken the info down, and who knows what this was all about?

Coach Steve said it best when he opinined to me that, "dude, this is EMI we're talking about."

Yes, "the greatest recording company in the world," or so they claim.

I'd guess that Apple/EMI might stick us with another perverse, but correct anniversary.

How's about 2007, so the promo CD remaster campaign can feature something like, "They sucked when they came out, and it's taken 20 years ago today, but we (may)finally have gotten right!"

Then, wait another 20 anums for the 5.1 mix, whilst by that time it will be 20.1, or just plain mono, for retros sake.

Yet, again, again: what would John have done?

I agree totally with Coach Steve about the rumoured first 4 Beatles EMI back catalogue LP release in June. The Coach don't really buy it, and me neither.

But then again, Coach and I are in our right minds. (Yes, even me.)

And Apple is anything but, so yes, we have no bananas.

Perhaps the more bizarre the logic, the greater the probability.

Yet I really would like the Apple knockers to try to explain to the fans how they need to buy Cap Vol. 2, AND the UK versions, some of have already been remastered in Vol. 1, albeit with some minor diffs.

Plus, the same, stupid staggered release skedd, unlike the Rolling Stones, who provided all titles on one day in SACD way back in 2002.

Obviously, Apple is still on tea, or at least cider.

And there was no mention made of 5.1 mixes, and not providing them at this time would assure that they would try to sell you the same stuff a 3rd or 4th time in the future.

Yes, and again, what would John have done?

NB:4 more BBs to go 'till 400!!!!!! A MILLSTONE IN MODERN POP HISTORY

So, we discover why all of a sudden the Beatles Capitol Albums Vol. 2 set is out early next month.

Apple/Capitol wanted to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Fabs' domination of the music charts, but 2 years late!

Is that not so Apple!

Following that logic, it may be impossible to get 1966-67 Vol. 3 out during its 40th but rather, we may look for it in 2008. It all makes perfect sense, ya know.

In any event, the official PR from Capitol seems a tad wordy, but then again as I mentioned before, hard core freaks will eat this stuff up, including me.

Excepting of course, where the PC dinks have airbrushed out the smokes two of the Fabs were holding in a publicity shot contained in the CD booklet.

Still, this whole project may confuse yer average music mook quite a bit.

For instance, is this the "best" sounding Beatles available, or will the remaster (when, when?) of the EMI back catalogue sound better on CD?

How many times should the fans be asked to purchase the same material?

Inquiring and fed up Beatle fan mind games want to know.

And besides, what would John have done?

Well, well, well,and well.

It's a Rocky Mountain high for the boys from TOUP, what with a major daily taking up the story of-egads!-bootleggers and soundmakers making up the silly slack left by EMI in their continuing bizzare caretaking of the Beatles back catalogue, and modern audio possibilites.

Only problem, is, this recent story is but way, way old newz for Beatle Bits, which started following the wild and crazy TOUPsters in 2004.

(Coach Steve will most likely post a link to the Denver newspaper story.)

And while the TOUP website is getting mucho new hits from mainstream media coverage, an agent or two at the FBI may also be reading during coffee break, and say, "hey, Sarge, that don't look quite right."

Yet, let's think positive, and hope that this recent coverage will shame-if that's possible-Apple/EMI to get off their asses and do something before the end of the bloody decade.

Stand alone DVD-Audio seems to be DOA, so I'm betting that the next Gen of Beatle back catalogue releases will be either Dual Discs (one side CD, one side 5.1 DVD) or possibly like Queen's new/old release of A Night At The Opera, a CD and a stand alone 5.1 DVD.

Or, as most non hard core Fabs' fans might say, "whatever," cuz how many times you gonna try to con us to buy this stuff?"

Interestingly, although the writer notes the audio upgrades of 1, Yellow Sub, and Let it Be Naked, not a mention is made of the Capitol Albums Vol. 1 or 2, in consideration of, many Dr. Ebbett's bootleg buyers who are preparing to dump their pricey copies of versions previously legally unavailable prior to Vol. 1 and 2.

One good point in the story though, is the MIA Hollywood Bowl album, but perhaps that may be a 30th anniversary project for 2007.

My bet is Cap Vol. 3 shows up late this year with the mucho coveted mono Sgt. P, along with the chance to include the Butcher Cover as the eye-popper.

Meanwhile, long may TOUP mix, at least until Apple wakes up, or copyright guys call.

Did Bruce play loose with Beatle Bits and Coach Steve of AbbeyRd?

Of course I'm talkin' about their trousers, and Beatle x-pert supremo supreme Bruce "Confidentiality" Spizer.

In an stealthy e-mail exchange earlier this week, Cousin Brucie set us straight on that fake Butcher Cover promo, but said "OFF THE RECORD" that he had a tick yer lock agreement with Capitol and could neither comfirm nor non deny-deny that he had scribbled the liner notes for the upcoming Capitol Albums Vol. 2, that BS assures WILL arrive on April 11, as rumoured and reported first in Canada by me in the Toronto Sun,Mar. 7.

Unfortunately, bad boy Bruce posted a great deal of excellent info on the set with a competeing Beatles website(!), and both Coach Steve and I were just snake biting mad.

"You'll never sell another book in this town," I warned Bruce.

"Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss," went Coach.

But then Mr Spizer e-mailed to explain that it was all a ghastly mistake, and that along with only claiming he was bigger that Rod (Serling), he had misplaced both Coach's and moi's e-mail addys during the big blow, and could therefore not provide us with the scoop.

Barring a grand jury investigation, Coach and I have agreed to accept BS's alibi, providing Bruce submits to a urine test, just like other stars.

Moving right along...I can say that perhaps they HAD to bring Bruce back for Vol. 2 such are incredibly detailed descriptions of the various mixes and such on these 4 albums from 1965 nee 2006.

And while us hard core freeks will eat it all up as usual, the more casual fan may ask,"why the fook are we paying $50 or so for 'duophonic' mixes that were shit 41 years ago, and presumably still shit now, no matter how, 'unique,' they are, or are not, now"

But no, it is not fair to comment sound unheard, so I will reserve judgement until April 11,or hopefully sooner.

Still, the audio minutiae of this set may be over the run of the mill fan's head, and I'm not sure that is what Capitol set out to do. (But with these guys, who the hell knows?)

A big "sorry suckers" to all those who invested heavily in Dr. E's retro-and boot- Beatles US releases, or maybe not, who knows?(However, hold on tight to your Beatles Story CD, because if that ever gets a legit release, we really will have seen hell freeze over, or at least Capitol scraping the very, very fricken bottom of the Fabs barrel.)

I'm sure that Bruce has a few bum boys and girls doing grunt research, but I gotta tell ya, that I respect like hell the work he does on this archive shit. I never would have the patience.

Bravo, Brucie. Long may you write, and consult-secretly.

Can't recall who exactly it was who really said that there was a sucker born every minute, but I guess it still is true-maybe even more so what with the Internet and all.

Some spot the loonies are actually presenting a Internet PPV (!) on April 24 with the goal of contacting the "spirit" of John Lennon, so as, among other things, he can pen a new song (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Now I have put you on before dear BB readers, but honest, this is no gag, at least not penned by me. Check it out at www.spiritoflennon.com Daft, don't say it.

Anyone who would pay money for this sort of thing is either nuts, or with brain that is as dead as John.

Now I ain't sayin' that it ain't a good hype, and would be at least worth a look and a laff if it were gratis, but I ain't never gonna give you my money, only funny paper on this silly sucker.

I'd Imagine Ms. Ono is, to say the least, not amused. Nor would I blame her nibs for being pissed at this latest brazen attempt to cash in on JL's legacy.

But I have a great satiric idea. Since "Paul is dead," and George Harrison too, why not conjure all 3, and have a 2006 version of the Threatles?

Better yet, let's have Ringo Starr attend the seance, and compose along with the expired Fabs, and then we get Macca Jr., Julian, and Dhani to take up earthbound musical tools, and have a second gen-plus Ringo-Beatles reunion with all new songs!

I'd Imagine new tunes with titles like, "I'm Still Dead, You F**kers," by John,Dick Jaws, publisher, "Yesterday, I Died," by Macca, and "Still Not Fookin' Guilty," by George.

Plus a group number entitled, "Give Us ALL your Money, Freaks," which is sure to be a number one hit, or miss.

Perhaps Ringo can have the lost lads appear via celestial hook-up for a guest appearance during his upcoming All Starr Tour. I'm sure Sheila E would forfeit one of 'er conga numbers just to be part of history.

But the unintentionally-I hope-funniest thing about this macabre, bizarre circus of a seance show, is the disclaimer at the bottom of the PR, pointing out that the freak show was not being exhibited with the support of the Lennon estate.

Not "authorized or condoned," it read.

No shit!

Mucho gracis to Javier who e'd Coach Steve and I earlier today with what purports to be a mock-up of a Capitol records promo poster for a June, 40th anniversary re-release of the infamous
Beatles Butcher Cover AKA Yesterday and Today.

But whoa, hold yer horses!

No less an authority than "Beatle Bookworm" Bruce Spizer sez in an e-mail that the promo poster thang originally posted on e-bay is a "fantasy" item, and not to be believed.

And in this case I think it is clear that BS IS to be believed, although one wag I exchanged e's with brought up the possibilty that Bruce was engaging in a little counter-intelligence for Capitol, to quiet the released hounds.

Yet, I don't think so. Bruce said that he had not been asked to do liner notes on any Butcher, so until I find out that Bruce fibbed, I'm stickin' to his story.

Still, "fantasy" or not, it WOULD be a cool idea to bring this thing to market on it's 40th illegitimate birthday, in both stereo and mono form, but then again a single release of Yeterday and Today would throw the spanner into the Capitol Albums Vol.3 line-up, one would presume.

Plus, I would guess that the media would jump all over with much hype a re-issue of the Butcher, as to the average Beatle fan, this withdrawn LP is somewhat of a Holy Grail. And of course ya'all know how much record companies hate hype(!)

When this thing does see the light of day, though, I would love to see a hard, definitive read-out of exactly how many of these suckers actually were sold at retail in '66, before being re-called.

Maybe Capitol does in fact not know, but obviously, if they could show that say, 50,000 units, rather than 10,000 actually got bought by the public, than correspondingly, the Butcher would-or should-not be such a big deal.

Supply and demand and all that.

But ya know what? I sure would love to have a stereo LP copy to hang on me wall, regardless.

Amidst all the hysteria and joy over the upcoming Capitol Albums Vol. 2, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

As in, how-if at all-the ongoing legals between the Fabs and EMI may effect what is right now set for an April 11 release.

Could it be possible that as the hype grows, and fans get anxious, EMI will say, "whoa," and kibosh the thing for the time being?

(On Friday afternoon, Mar. 10, what appeared to be a legit looking PR circulating on a Yahoo beatles forum, credited the Vol. 2 set to "Capitol/EMI," so who knows?)

Usually money-and lots of it-can soothe hurt feelings, and unpaid royalties, but then again, this is the Beatles we are talking about.

But just think about all the millions and millions of Beatle-bucks that are just waiting to be lifted from totally hooked and needy fans-like you and me.

This is the gift that just keeps on giving.

Add 'em up: Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Let it Be/Rot (when, when?)Hollywood Bowl, and the Mother of All reissues, the entire EMI back catalogue remaster. I'd bet unit sales of these items in total would be around 10-15 million in North America alone.Maybe more. Probably a total retail sale of around $300-500 million for all.

And that isn't even counting any more Anthology type projects, that are damn sure to follow at some point within 5-10 years.

I'd Imagine that even though it has been shown that All You Need is Love, the 1 billion $ or so the entire Beatle EMI tape library is probably worth ain't too bad, neither.

And that, is serious money, that I'm sure Paul and Yoko especially, would love to deposit into their cups that even now well runneth over. Ringo could add to his $70 mill, and Oliva could pad George's 100 mill plus estate.

Man, they is all sure making up for getting ripped of in the 60s, eh?

So, I'm betting that we WILL se Vol. 2, sooner rather than later-one online retailer already has a pix of the box cover posted-and, as Shakespeare wrote, it is time, at least for now, to "kill all the lawyers," and the box sets and dollars to flow.

Much, much better than the sue me, sue you blues.

So whilst wanking between the Fabs and EMI enter overtime, the much mumbled of Capitol records seems determined to get us hard core fanatics some product in 2006, come hell or rancid water and echo.

And if the English Tea Abbey Road wankers who are said to be busy busying themselves with the UK back catlogue-when? when?-then thank Vishnu for American Capitol, whose rep when it comes to the fabulous Beatles, has not been so good since 1964.

OK, so here's the obvious next q: if Cap Alb Vol. 2 is, Early Beatles, the US Help, Beatles VI and Rubber Soul, what will Vol. 3 be?

My best guess is thus: 3 may-or may not-pop up at the traditional X-Mas entry, and could encompass 1966-67.

I'm thinking, Revolver, Yesterday and Today (Butcher cover, of course) Sgt. P, and MMT which were all released in the US in both stereo and mono forms, with Magical being the last official domestic mono release of a Beatles album in North America.

Then, that would leave EMI, or whatever, to resurrect the withdrawn NA 1997 Sgt. P box-dug up by your trusty correspondent in 1998-and then a special edition of both stereo and mono White Album, and then, well, you're on your own as to what next.

(Personally, I can't bloody wait to hear a "professional" remastering job on the above, as all we have now is well done, but amateur vinyl to CD transfers.)

Will the UA A Hard Day's Night ever see the light of non-bootleged day?

Will the Let it Be/Rot DVD EVER come out?

Will Live at the Hollywood Bowl FINALLY show up on expanded CD, maybe in 2007 as a "30th anniversay" edition.

Will the sun shine tommorrow?

Have you had tea?

Who fricken' knows!

Perhaps one of the worst things that can befall a pop icon superstar-see Mikey Jackson-is for the media, excepting Larry King, to start laughing at you.

Well, that is what appeared to happen to Paul McCartney and his wifey Heather "Hellbent" Mills.

My fave headline in the Canadian press was "Blubber Soul." Wish I woulda thunka that gem meself.

Another good one today in the Toronto Star was a caroon of a shrivelly Dirk crooning, whilst the seals are yelling, "quick, call the humane society!" Ouch, and hissssssssss.

Whether McQuickly and Leggy are sincere or not, they are perceived by many to be no more than self-promoting celeb wankers who have way, way too much time on their hands.

Plus, Macca screwed himself up by not even knowing where the hell he was in Canuckistan, confusing Prince Edward Island, for Newfoundland, which at the very least, pissed off the Newfies, while disapointing the PEI'ers. Like to see how Dirk's albums sell around these parts, now.

My question is after all the entertainment wars that Macca has been through and all the incredible cultural benfits he has contributed to, why the hell is he making a fool of himself over such a small, regional issue?

Ever since I dared critique Dirk on this issue I have heard once again from the sick Macca Madhatters, especially one hiding behind the non de plume of "Pete Hamm," who behaved, well, like a pig.

Christ, I already expressed my sympathies for the bloody seals!

These extremists remind me of the anti-abortion yahoos: only their opinion is relevant and righteous. Well, sod you, wobbly wankers.

Fur there more, dummies, get a friggin' life, already, won't ya?

When I read the new news (yester)today, I went, 'oh boy!'

Yes, as I predicted to many a doubting Thomas and Tina, next up in the wacky world of Beatle re-releases would be the Capitol Albums Vol. 2, and if an Internet report, and an Amazon.com listing is correct, we shall be seeing Vol. 2, sooner, rather than alter, and damn it kiddies, your correspondent was also correct!

(Friendly aside to Beatle expert Cleveland Matt, who may have been pre-occupied with a new lady friend: told ya!)

Go to the AbbeyRd news briefs where Coach Steve has assembled an aray of "clues for you all," in the form of links and pix and such.

Now, we address important q's:

1/ Is this real, or a hoax: I believe the story is "true."

2/ Is the release date on Amazon accurate: are you on drugs?

3/ Since Rubber Soul is obviously one of the LPs being included in the 4-pack, and mention is made of The Early Beatles and Help, what is the 4th title: It has to be Beatles VI.

4/ What about the UA A Hard Day's Night: who friggin' knows?

5/ How would a possible release of Vol 2 affect the ongoing legals between EMI and the Fabs: In fact, the legals could kibosh, or at least postpone-a better bet-this set.

6/ Besides hard-core Beatles fans, do many care about 40 year old Fabs' albums remastered in mono and stereo in their original wrappers: probably not. I am told that Vol. 1 did not go over as well as anticipated by Cap/EMI. (Ringo, evidently was so upset, he took to his bed for a month with the I-ching, and a joint.)

7/ Hey! This ain't Christmas, why waste the box set now: EMI/Cap appear to consult the stars when it comes to these things, so go figger.

8/ Is the side story of a possible entire back catalogue remaster true (in our lifetime): see response to 2.

9/9/9/9/ Is "Paul" still dead?: yes, but pup star Billy Spears was on Larry King last nite, as was his travelling companion, Leggy Mountmills.

In any event, as for Vol. 2, I hope they come up with a better long box cover, this time.

The last one sorta sucked.

That is all fur now.

UPDATE: Even the Toronto Star today chided Heather Macca for touching a seal pup, "a clear violation of federal laws prohibiting touching (of) marine mammals." Ya dope.

As we close in on the incredible millstone of 400 Beatle Bits, my thoughts turn to a photo published March 2, in the Toronto Star, Canuckistan's largest daily.

There, for all who care to see, was a colour pix of Sir Paul McCartney and wifey Heather "Hairspray" Mills doing a walk-about to protest the annual seal hunt in the Gulf of St. Lawrence.

Then, the Canadian Press picked up the story, and said that the dippy duo would be landing a helicopter near the sealers, I guess to screw 'em up.

The Macca-Mills have previously described the admittedly narly hunt as inhumane and barbaric.

Problem is, seals, no matter how cute, ARE NOT HUMAN, dummies.

As for "barbaric," yes, I guess I would agree that konking these poor critters repeatedly over their noggins with a club is a tad cruel, but to a seal, so would being eaten alive by other non-human predators.

Think it feels any better to the seal to be eaten alive by a whale, or bear?

The sealing industry is an important part of the local economy, and perhaps Paul might like to donate some of his billions to cover costs if the hunt were banned. Or perhaps he could finance a project where the seals are terminated with lethal injection, just to keep the blood off the snow, and angst from the pop stars minds.

Oh, and I can see and hear it coming now: a song, perhaps entitled SOS:Save Our Seals. Perhaps.

You know, there is real poverty and suffering even in the so-called rich western nations, and I would be a big supporter of Macca-Mills if they would tackle that issue, instead of the rather obtuse animal-centric and weapon ones they harp about now. Few, outside of their rich friends and wacko tree-huggers give a sheit about what they are doing now.

Paul, put your energy into making a good record for God's sake, because, well, it's been some time since, dear friend.

EXTRA,EXTRA: Dirk and wifey are said to be live on the Larry "Suck and Blow" King show tonight (Mar. 3, 9PM EST) and I'm sure it will really be worth watching if for nothing else to see Larry ask Paul if he really did blow his mind out in a car, in 1966.

So, George Harrison would have been 63 years olde this week, if he hadn't been stolen from us in 2001 as the results of complications from the Big C, and perhaps even the lingering after effects of have being knived in his own home by a lunatic intruder a year earlier.

I always thought GH the most cornered of Beatles in that as he noted in song he was "not guilty," of not being John Lennon or Paul McCartney. Try living up-or down-to that handle.

In my opinion, George's Beatle work is almost-and sometimes just as good-as John and Paul's stuff, but clearly he was not on the lead 2's prolific and manic level of music production.

And again, in my opinion, George's solo work from 1970-73 was at the minimum the equal to the other Fabs' solo stuff, and in some cases, better.

That's always been my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

But for those angry e-mailers who have accused me lately of being on everything from tea to turpentene, GH also had a great sense of the absurd, the satire of Beatles and such. (Thanks to the many more who apparently got the joke.)

For God's sake Beatle peeples, George was a big part of the project that took the most piss out of the Fabs-the Rutles-and if he can see the irony in at all, I wonder why the "fans" can't.

I got the feeling that GH did not NEED to busker like Macca-oh, especially like Macca-or even weird out and project like John.

That quality sort of endeared him to me, and still does.

And man, wouldn't it have been Something if George was still around whilst the When I'm 64 Tour commenced?

Not guilty, of gettin' in your way,of tryin' to steal the day, I think he would say.